Why I write down my biography for you

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My life is not more or less important than anyone elses`,
and not even an inspiration for seekers of success,
but throughout half a decade, I have observed,
that literally ALL of us get entangled in many pains and disappointments
and either spiral down into bitterness,
or manage to transform into a wiser person.

I will use my own biography to follow the evolution of the human mind
in this order:

1 .) Karmic lessons and disappointments

Those are the lessons learned by experiences.

In my personal opinion (as a non-Indian Westerner)
Karma seems to be the susceptibility for energetic constellations
which do match our current level of im/balance.

Since everything in nature is drawn to a state of balance,
those experiences usually lead to “dis-appointments
– a gradual annihilation of our internal appointments with reality,
known as (mis)conceptions.

Whilst Karma – especially for followers of Abrahamic religions –
seems to be linked to a punishment of a higher authority;
I see it as a merely a neutral consequence of nature.

Nature’s laws are unfathomable to the unenlightened mind,
so it’s regularities seem to be fate for most people.

Whilst an intellectual understanding of Nature is equivalently futile
to predicting the flight-path of a released rubber-ballon,
I strongly believe that an unconditioned mind is capable of intuitively understanding the regularities of life.
That is why I am not searching intellectually for the principles of life,
but do this yoga-meditaton instead.

Because I want to walk with you through the entire process chronologically,
the difficulty for me will be will be to write down my experiences
without adding relativizing & resolving insights I had decades later,
so I warn you that there will be a few politically incorrect posts upcoming, designed to show you how frustrating experiences in ignorance can be.

So even if you at times totally disagree with my first views or early conclusions, please bear with me, because this is not about singular issues
but about the larger picture of the development of insights.

This series also is designed to demonstrate the value of a daily meditation practice,
by comparing decades of my own faults and pains to the much faster evolution, when daily tuning into one’s higher self.

Once I collected the chronology of my epic downfall, I will tell you about …

2. ) The deconstruction of an ego.

All experiences leave residues of emotional reflections
which in time turns into admittance of personal responsibility in form of regrets.

To know this, btw, can help you tremendously when working on letting go of violations or victimisations, which had been committed against you.

The effects of a conscience will serve each person their own punishment,
and even if it seems that some are not receptive for it,
it only means that their boomerang is delayed into the next of afterlife.

This will be the chapter which will provide all answers to my frustrating experiences, so you can take this page as a disclaimer for all my biographical posts.

Once this episode is completed I finally will move on to tell you about …

3.) Mystical insights …

… I am having as a very late reward of my long & tedious meditation-yog-practice described here.

~ ~ ~

Finally

The rise of social networks did create an atmosphere of most people putting on a mask to display themselves more beautiful and successful than others – under the pretence to spread positivity.

Instead what they do is to make anyone who can’t live up to their distorted standards of their photo-edited pictures to feel like a looser.

Therefore I want to fill the void of authenticity
by bringing you an honest and complete picture with all its shadow-sides.

I hope that this will bring a sense of identification and belonging
to the many whose suffering currently disables them to express their pain.

#autobiography, #autobiography-of-a-looser, #chronology-of-an-epic-downfall, #downfall, #epic-downfall, #looser

The karmic boomerang

Chronology of an epic downfall #1

After I had been kicked out of the USA, without the chance to withdraw money, cancel my apartment or get any of my belongings out of the states, I did strand in London where I had no place to stay anymore.

So I asked my old teacher of TCM to put me up and called my father to pay for the next flight ticket back to Germany. Setting up a new existance in the UK was literally impossible without a penny, so I was forced to go back to the very place I did try so hard to leave behind.

I then stood in the same room I occupied as a child – the basement of my parents – a place which is ok to be in as a teenager,
but considered to be a looser’s home when still staying there whilst being an adult.

This was very hard, because I just came from the city which never sleeps, where I could shop at 4am at night, and suddenly found myself in a quiet village with nowhere to go, and my parents went to bed at 10pm.

You have to know that there was still no internet around at that time,
so that the only escape was the TV with its brain-numbing program and ads – all catered for the lowest intellectual denominator.

In order not to fall into a depression I instantly switched on an activity mode and searched for a job, but to my dismay I found out that the diploma in TCM was worth nothing in Germany, because an old Nazi-law (which was incorporated into the post-WW Grundgesetz) stated that no one is allowed to heal unless he has a German qualitifaction called Heilpraktiker – a qualification for which someone has to be qualified at the level of a nurse, merely to learn what one is NOT allowed to treat – a total useless qualification under the pretence to ‘protect’ the population when in fact it does not even ensure any healing qualification.

Since I had never an interest in western medicine and also did not plan to stay in Germany for the rest of my life, I rather looked for a job being employed by a doctor, and found one in a small town nearby, so I moved there. Soon I found out that this tiny town was full of squares or drunks and it turned out to be even more hostile than the village my parents did live in – one neighbour watching me from the opposite house, telling the neighbours in my house my life, who in return did eavesdrop at my door and balcony and did check out my place, when I once forgot to lock it.
In short – I full force run into the worst of my German nightmares – a place which did embody the essence of narrow-mindedness.

The doctor also turned out to having employed me merely for the reason that I was in his eyes willing to do any airy-fairy healing method he just learned, and the breaking point for me was me being in multiple seminars for doctors in which healing machines were taught, one of which was Bioresonance a therapy based on the Scientology tool ‘E-meter’.

There, the speakers compared the picture of the human aura to their machine. The room was full of 200 dentists and everyone nodded weightily, but I stood up and told them that the scala of their machine was 10-times smaller than that of the aura, meaning that their machine would merely reach a tenth or much less of the human’s electromagnetic field.
I then learned that all those degrees of titles the self-important western medical practitioners did obviously not enable them to think independently – they all did follow statistics like sheep.

I also saw how bitter those doctors were: Here I was in the most expensive hotels and saw those rich doctors sitting there with grumpy faces, because they did believe that they had “earned” being there – they even complained when driving me with their expensive Mercedes-Benz somewhere that politics would take their money away.

The most absurd moment was

  • The doctor I worked for ordered me to put the patient in front of a picture of the star-constellation of the Pleiades (because he claimed that we all come from there), to give the patient home-sickness.
  • Then I was supposed to use a pendulum to find the weakest spot on the patient’s back, and then
  • stick a photocopy of a massively enlarged DNA of a dove on it, which was cut multiple times so that it was not in order anymore. This was supposedly meant to be “satanic” and against the forces of nature, in order to weaken the patient.
  • Then I was supposed to put African Bachflower-remedies into the hand of the patient and do a Kinesiological test to find out the one which does weaken him most.
  • And then I had to put it in to the above mentioned ‘Bioresonanz-maschine’, and reverse the vibration to insert a maximal reversed negative vibration into the body.

I then told my employer that I did not study for 4 years full-time in order to make experiments on human beings, and he sacked, so I was unemployed and moved to my hometown into a nice apartment in the hope that I would get another job soon.

Unfortunately that did not happen and I was forced to move into a 30 SQM (300 SQF) one-bedroom apartment on the same floor, which ironically only had windows onto the road side side opposite offices, and their windows did reflect at night, so that my neighbours also could look into my room then.

From there the only view was exactly to the place I did hate most as a child:
my old school, and behind it the valley where my parents lived.

So life pushed me straight back into my starting position, I worked on so hard to leave, for a quarter of a century.

A karmic boomerang.

#acupuncture, #aversion, #bioresonance, #boomerang, #chronology-of-an-epic-downfall, #downfall, #healing, #hometown, #karma, #looser, #unemployment