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  • sitting bull 12:24 on 2019-08-24 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: acupuncture, aversion, bioresonance, boomerang, , , healing, hometown, Karma, looser, unemployment   

    The karmic boomerang 

    Chronology of an epic downfall #1

    After I had been kicked out of the USA, without the chance to withdraw money, cancel my apartment or get any of my belongings out of the states, I did strand in London where I had no place to stay anymore.

    So I asked my old teacher of TCM to put me up and called my father to pay for the next flight ticket back to Germany. Setting up a new existance in the UK was literally impossible without a penny, so I was forced to go back to the very place I did try so hard to leave behind.

    I then stood in the same room I occupied as a child – the basement of my parents – a place which is ok to be in as a teenager,
    but considered to be a looser’s home when still staying there whilst being an adult.

    This was very hard, because I just came from the city which never sleeps, where I could shop at 4am at night, and suddenly found myself in a quiet village with nowhere to go, and my parents went to bed at 10pm.

    You have to know that there was still no internet around at that time,
    so that the only escape was the TV with its brain-numbing program and ads – all catered for the lowest intellectual denominator.

    In order not to fall into a depression I instantly switched on an activity mode and searched for a job, but to my dismay I found out that the diploma in TCM was worth nothing in Germany, because an old Nazi-law (which was incorporated into the post-WW Grundgesetz) stated that no one is allowed to heal unless he has a German qualitifaction called Heilpraktiker – a qualification for which someone has to be qualified at the level of a nurse, merely to learn what one is NOT allowed to treat – a total useless qualification under the pretence to ‘protect’ the population when in fact it does not even ensure any healing qualification.

    Since I had never an interest in western medicine and also did not plan to stay in Germany for the rest of my life, I rather looked for a job being employed by a doctor, and found one in a small town nearby, so I moved there. Soon I found out that this tiny town was full of squares or drunks and it turned out to be even more hostile than the village my parents did live in – one neighbour watching me from the opposite house, telling the neighbours in my house my life, who in return did eavesdrop at my door and balcony and did check out my place, when I once forgot to lock it.
    In short – I full force run into the worst of my German nightmares – a place which did embody the essence of narrow-mindedness.

    The doctor also turned out to having employed me merely for the reason that I was in his eyes willing to do any airy-fairy healing method he just learned, and the breaking point for me was me being in multiple seminars for doctors in which healing machines were taught, one of which was Bioresonance a therapy based on the Scientology tool ‘E-meter’.

    There, the speakers compared the picture of the human aura to their machine. The room was full of 200 dentists and everyone nodded weightily, but I stood up and told them that the scala of their machine was 10-times smaller than that of the aura, meaning that their machine would merely reach a tenth or much less of the human’s electromagnetic field.
    I then learned that all those degrees of titles the self-important western medical practitioners did obviously not enable them to think independently – they all did follow statistics like sheep.

    I also saw how bitter those doctors were: Here I was in the most expensive hotels and saw those rich doctors sitting there with grumpy faces, because they did believe that they had “earned” being there – they even complained when driving me with their expensive Mercedes-Benz somewhere that politics would take their money away.

    The most absurd moment was

    • The doctor I worked for ordered me to put the patient in front of a picture of the star-constellation of the Pleiades (because he claimed that we all come from there), to give the patient home-sickness.
    • Then I was supposed to use a pendulum to find the weakest spot on the patient’s back, and then
    • stick a photocopy of a massively enlarged DNA of a dove on it, which was cut multiple times so that it was not in order anymore. This was supposedly meant to be “satanic” and against the forces of nature, in order to weaken the patient.
    • Then I was supposed to put African Bachflower-remedies into the hand of the patient and do a Kinesiological test to find out the one which does weaken him most.
    • And then I had to put it in to the above mentioned ‘Bioresonanz-maschine’, and reverse the vibration to insert a maximal reversed negative vibration into the body.

    I then told my employer that I did not study for 4 years full-time in order to make experiments on human beings, and he sacked, so I was unemployed and moved to my hometown into a nice apartment in the hope that I would get another job soon.

    Unfortunately that did not happen and I was forced to move into a 30 SQM (300 SQF) one-bedroom apartment on the same floor, which ironically only had windows onto the road side side opposite offices, and their windows did reflect at night, so that my neighbours also could look into my room then.

    From there the only view was exactly to the place I did hate most as a child:
    my old school, and behind it the valley where my parents lived.

    So life pushed me straight back into my starting position, I worked on so hard to leave, for a quarter of a century.

    A karmic boomerang.

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  • sitting bull 11:48 on 2019-05-07 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: autobiography, , dharma, , entanglements, Karma, , self-reflection   

    a disclaimer in regards to my upcoming subjectivity 

    I find it quite difficult to write an autobiography which on one hand is meant to reconstruct the evolutions of the mind and on the other hand tries to be as chronologically as possible, because our conclusions do come in threats of themes which we later reconstruct to make sense to us.

    So in order to give each article a meaning I want to come up with a hindsight conclusion, despite the fact that at the time I did not have those which caused me to repeat those lessons multiple times but please bear in mind that those are usually not the last conclusions or insights I had.

    Because I want to reconstruct the internal process of ones psychological evolution I did not post them yet but decided to first post more of the impressions I got whilst I was growing up.

    As you know a child does not instantly analyse, but just take in experiences which later they form conclusions which much later turn into higher insights.

    So for the sake of walking with you through this internal process you will first read personal stuff about my life which to a large extend might be insignificant for you who is on a different path, and at times nervewrecking repetitive for you,
    but that is to show how slow the mere path of following ones Karma works and how the mind has to slowly walk through ones life backwards by the means of self-reflection, contemplation and meditation to “detangle” the tremendous emotional entanglements which did pile on tons of misconceptions on us.

    Therefore, whenever you read something you disagree with – please understand that those are mere steps on a path, which at later stages bears deep inner changes and a broader understanding of many sides.

     
  • sitting bull 5:42 on 2018-08-06 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: acceptence, desperation, Karma, life, patience, perseverance, reward, serenity,   

    If your Karma seems to be a never ending pain 

    We all heard of Karma and have an intuitive understanding of it – usually mixed up with our cultural heritage, so for Westerners it is likely to associate it with the Christian definition of sin and guilt, and since the abyss into it is so vast,
    the wild-card for it in Christianity is the original sin which implies that we all are overloaded by it and need the grace of an authoritative god-figure to relieve us from it.

    Sisyphus

    Yet in my understanding Karma seems to be merely the accumulation of millions of decisions, resolutions and conceptions which did in time shape our personality – neither good, nor bad, just the result of ones own mindset which developed over lifetimes.

    Let’s take an example of 2 kids under extreme pressure:
    One may withdraw into its own world and become more and more sensitive, fragile but also intuitive, and the other one may turn rebellious and subscribe to the philosophy of strength.

    If this goes on for decades, the entire body-type may be shaped – the first one turning feeble or fat and the second one may become strong but also choleric.
    And this in turn will lead them into total different life-situations where the first one sees the world as hostile and finds a secret happiness in the realms of fantasy and spirituality whilst the second one may become a hardcore materialist and very successful in “breaking a few eggs” to accomplish own goals.

    Many situations will be encountered,
    which then will lead to total different new resolutions, experiences and conclusions.

    A change in character usually happens long after one tried to resolve a situation – usually it is when someone “had enough” and takes consequences.
    This is the stage in which one doesn’t bother anymore getting into details and discussing things, but simply acts in a certain way.

    Think of arguments you had with some (kind of) people; and at one stage you decided not getting involved into useless nitty-gritty stuff anymore, but just do your own thing.

    This is when your personality-type mixes with the conclusions which were drawn from experiences. (And I want to point out that it is merely the conclusions, not the experiences themselves which shape ones character – two people may experience the exact same thing and react in very different ways to them).

    And once things got intermingled the way back is usually hard to trace any longer. Whilst psychology does try to reconstruct root-issues through analysis, the causes may lie much deeper than the usual assumed ones in childhood if one believes in reincarnation for example. After each rebirth there is a kind of reset in which previous experiences are forgotten, but the conclusions and physical results being a certain elemental or body type, are carried forward

    Someone did experience something a long long time ago which did shape the character and even physiology, and lifes later may react to certain circumstances in unexplainable ways – hence the simple place-holder-terminology for it is Karma.

    So now most of us take Karma in a fatalistic way of a mysterious force overshadowing us.
    But the good news is that there is a “solution” of literally “re-solving” this huge entanglement between the world and the individual: It’s the “dis-solving” of that which we decided to construct as our persona – our concerns for our relationship to the world – or in other words our ego.

    This is a very difficult task, because there is no intellectual guideline and in order to “get a grip” on ones worldly entanglements one has to let this go and look from a meta-perspective. And this is what meditation allows us to do: To simply step out of the hamster-wheel of having to react and therewith add more stuff onto the pile of Karma, and simply to be.

    So instead of boiling the water with emotions one does cool it down until the bottom freezes which then lets parts of ice raise to the top. In time the entire water will be turned into “coolness” and calmness.

    The only problem with it is that no one knows the amount of water which is to be cooled down – is it a decade worth of troubles or thousands of years of previous lives? And neither do we know the severity of our misconceptions, so to answer how long this will take is like asking “how long is a piece of string” ?

    And this is where we all at one point or another fall into desperation for having worked for so long on our issues and sacrificed so much, and yet, here we are still having to endure the same pain again and again and again.

    It simply is frustrating not to see any progress, so here are a few visualisations in order not to give up:

    1. Nature grows slowly – if a fast change is forced it usually is a tree being logged

    Whenever pharmaceutical products work fast, they usually don’t build something in the body, but destroy something like the excessive Yang energy in young people when forcing  them to calm down with Ritalin for example.

    2.) Some progress can be seen and keeps being hidden for a long while

     

    • yet there is progress.

    If you for example only focus on the change of a minute, you will not see anything happening for 59 seconds, yet things do shift constantly. Cover the seconds on the right with your hand to simulate to be blinded to smaller changes – you need patience to wait for the next minute when not seeing the seconds move.

    2.) If your life seems to go back and forth it may be part of a larger picture

    Let’s stay at the example time and think that you would be one of the 24 analog clocks below, but can not understand the irregularities of your life alone.
    You may not see it yet, but in the larger context it later may make perfect sense:

    3.) Your timeline is not necessarily straight but possible a spiral

    You evolve from the bottom and every so often you encounter the same point P again and again, but always on a higher level.


    Or if the spiral is lying your evolution seems to go up and down

    • yet you are slowly increasing your level of consciousness:

       

     

    Subconsciously you know it – even it the personality-work seems never to stop – all you need is to carry on to do your soul-cleansing, because the most stupid thing would be to turn around, when you walked the largest part of the way through the desert already.

    I once walked with a group through the desert and we came to an oasis, but the pond below the waterfall was full of people, so we had to walk up the hill to the next one.
    This also was full of people so we walked further up to the third one which also was occupied. Knowing that there were Panthers which were quiet in the day, we kept walking to the fourth one, but when this also was not free we carried on until the fifth one and there we had he most beautiful view over the desert and I later found out that I coincidentally did visit the place where David supposedly shot down Goliath.

    This taught me that sometimes when times are tough, it simply might mean that I should not settle at this low level but literally rise above my difficulties, because I might finally be rewarded with the most beautiful view on life.


     
    • Amy 21:38 on 2018-08-06 Permalink | Reply

      So let me ask you this. If someone doesn’t believe in reincarnation ( I quite frankly don’t know what I believe) would you still recommend this?

      Can anyone out there tell me that they actually found the inner peace and bliss promised through this meditation?

      Like

      • sitting bull 21:35 on 2018-09-10 Permalink | Reply

        For some technical reasons I missed all those replies until now, so sorry for the delay.
        I myself am no advocate of classical reincarnation, but the more I do meditate the more I see much larger cycles than this life has to offer, meaning there are many signs which indicate to bigger cycles.
        However else could Mozart have been such a childhood-genius for example?
        And in regards to meditation: It goes and I feel desparate, but then a larger bliss follows and all makes senes again, so in the long term this definitely works.
        Now for example despite additional recent health-issues I feel better than ever, because the meditation-wisdom made me solve longterm family issues which is a huge weight lifted of my shoulders.

        Like

    • JV Avadhanulu 3:28 on 2018-08-10 Permalink | Reply

      Another brilliant post. The example of the analog clocks and the projection of the helix on two axes are superb illustrations. I wish to add
      “The mass of the sun curves space-time in such a way that although the earth follows a straight path in four-dimensional space-time, it appears to us to move along a circular orbit in three-dimensional space. This is rather like watching an airplane flying over hilly ground. Although it follows a straight line in three-dimensional space, its shadow follows a curved path on the two-dimensional ground.” This is from a brief history of time by Spehen Hawking.

      Liked by 1 person

      • sitting bull 21:47 on 2018-09-10 Permalink | Reply

        Holy Shmoly! This is a very advanced answer and I have to figure out what a straight path in a four dimensional line is.
        You seem to really have gotten what Hawkins said – I got stuck in the middle of his book!
        Your humbleness hides your intelligence – so I learned to keep an open mind for anybody from you.

        Like

    • JV Avadhanulu 2:42 on 2018-08-11 Permalink | Reply

      I want to share what the teacher told us during Vipassana Meditation
      The sub-conscious is programmed by karma and conditioning. It reacts for every trigger and communicates through bodily sensations. If you act based on this, it is RE-ACTION and the karma and conditioning accumulate.If you are able to let go of the reaction, some part of your karma and conditioning are transmuted.
      I think that in all meditations, we get impulses. Observing the impulses and not reacting is one of the basic principles of meditation. This definitely alters how impulses originate. As per some modern emotional intelligence experiments, this rewires the brain.

      Liked by 1 person

      • sitting bull 21:49 on 2018-09-10 Permalink | Reply

        This is lovely, thanks for your both comments which I just saw now.
        The issue in reality is that at certain stages some tremendous anger about before unrealised betrayals etc. arise and they than stick in the mind and are not so easy to let go, because there is no way to “unsee” unpleasant new insights.

        Like

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