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  • sitting bull 11:48 on 2019-05-07 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , dharma, disclaimer, entanglements, , , self-reflection   

    a disclaimer in regards to my upcoming subjectivity 

    I find it quite difficult to write an autobiography which on one hand is meant to reconstruct the evolutions of the mind and on the other hand tries to be as chronologically as possible, because our conclusions do come in threats of themes which we later reconstruct to make sense to us.

    So in order to give each article a meaning I want to come up with a hindsight conclusion, despite the fact that at the time I did not have those which caused me to repeat those lessons multiple times but please bear in mind that those are usually not the last conclusions or insights I had.

    Because I want to reconstruct the internal process of ones psychological evolution I did not post them yet but decided to first post more of the impressions I got whilst I was growing up.

    As you know a child does not instantly analyse, but just take in experiences which later they form conclusions which much later turn into higher insights.

    So for the sake of walking with you through this internal process you will first read personal stuff about my life which to a large extend might be insignificant for you who is on a different path, and at times nervewrecking repetitive for you,
    but that is to show how slow the mere path of following ones Karma works and how the mind has to slowly walk through ones life backwards by the means of self-reflection, contemplation and meditation to “detangle” the tremendous emotional entanglements which did pile on tons of misconceptions on us.

    Therefore, whenever you read something you disagree with – please understand that those are mere steps on a path, which at later stages bears deep inner changes and a broader understanding of many sides.

     
  • sitting bull 1:31 on 2019-04-30 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , disappointments, disclaimer,   

    An autobiographical research into of the evolution of our soul 

    An attempt to figure out the way the mind evolves throughout our karmic biography

    versus the means of reflection, contemplation and meditation.

    Our entanglement in life is unfathomable, which leads us to the believe that there must be some higher force or reason behind all of it.
    Without wanting to dismiss anyones believe in higher powers, one thing for me is certain – I have the right to understand myself by myself,
    so instead of putting my head into the sand of ignorant fatalism, I want to start a very personal research into the twists of the human mind by using my life as an example.

    I don’t do this because I do consider my life as more important than anyone elses’, but for the simple reason that it is the only one I fully have access to – at least to the extend that I still remember all those events which were not suppressed into the realm of forgetfulness by my resisting ego.

    This timing is right, because I just started a 3 year long inner journey to literally re-search for my higher, true or divine soul by the means of Yoga-meditation which will bring a lot of autobiographical stuff up, before insights come.

    So I herewith will open myself up totally; by writing down all experiences which did have a lasting impact on me – regardless of their political correctness or how they make me look like.

    What is needed in this time of dishonest Kali-Yuga-masquerade for the sake of preserving an image to impress the shallow minded ones currently in power; is someone who reclaims honesty in the superficial social-network-farce by opening up in an honest way in order to break the story of the emperor’s new clothes. And since I have nothing to loose, I make the first step here; in the hope to inspire others to loose their fear of being authentic.

    Whilst most people like stories of inspirations in order to be uplifted, this series might put of those who merely look for the bright side of life without wanting to look at the entire picture.
    I observed this already, as some advocates of the (in itself still shallow) mere”wellness-and-health-food-spirituality“, or of the other extreme of a “mere faith in an authoritarian god figure who will rescue us all” stopped reading this blog or replying to mails.
    Those usually were people who were looking for inspriations (in from the outside) without wanting to include the saturnic (duty) aspects of (self claimed) “@spirations”.

    Those people will resort to autobiographies of people who made it to the top of our society.
    But this – in opposition to Yogananda’s “Autobiography of a Yogi” will be an “Autobiography of a looser” – a chronology of an epic downfall, but therefore the display of lessons of in non-attachment through literal dis-appointments -> unfulfilled appointments, my naive mind made in blind hope with reality.

    As a future disclaimer – I want to add that most of my life-deviations will turn out to have become valuable lessons
    – first on a lower consciousness in form of at times cynical consequences,
    – then as a “street-wisdom” or a “wisdom of age“, which as we know is less “wisdom” but often sadly only limited to distrustful strategic lessons,
    – and later guided by my meditative higher mind to some forms of more loving and compassionate world-views which allow for the existence of an Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations (which Gene Roddenberry’s Vulcans did cherish).

    So whenever you can’t relate to one point or another, I can assure you that most of what I am about to write will be explained later.
    The only reason why I won’t explain my misconceptions straight away is in order to let the reader walk with me through an experience – something which would not happen if you knew the outcome (for the same reasons no one likes movie-spoilers).

    Because memories will not all come up in chronological order, I will categorise my autobiography in the blog here under a “bio(graphy)” menu points, like:
    *bio
    +>my 20s (, 30s, 40s, etc..)
    +> my yin and yang sides
    +> different issues (such as #family, #men, #women, etc)
    +> lower and higher mind insights …
    so that you may pick out the parts which you can relate to.

     
    • JV Avadhanulu 5:14 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, dear Thilo, for your courage to share your life and your deepest leranings with us. I don’t agree that you are a loser and you may like to reconsider attaching that label to yourself.
      Wish you all the best

      Like

      • sitting bull 10:31 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you for your compassionate response, JV,
        with this upcoming series I just want to convey to people how despite best of wished ones life can go down the drain,
        and then how to pick it up afterwards again and about the difficulties on the path.

        Like

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