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  • sitting bull 20:04 on 2019-09-29 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , autobiography of a looser, , , epic downfall,   

    Why I write down my biography for you 

    {ongoing story: Menu>bios}

    My life is not more or less important than anyone elses`,
    and not even an inspiration for seekers of success,
    but throughout half a decade, I have observed,
    that literally ALL of us get entangled in many pains and disappointments
    and either spiral down into bitterness,
    or manage to transform into a wiser person.

    I will use my own biography to follow the evolution of the human mind
    in this order:

    1 .) Karmic lessons and disappointments

    Those are the lessons learned by experiences.

    In my personal opinion (as a non-Indian Westerner)
    Karma seems to be the susceptibility for energetic constellations
    which do match our current level of im/balance.

    Since everything in nature is drawn to a state of balance,
    those experiences usually lead to “dis-appointments
    – a gradual annihilation of our internal appointments with reality,
    known as (mis)conceptions.

    Whilst Karma – especially for followers of Abrahamic religions –
    seems to be linked to a punishment of a higher authority;
    I see it as a merely a neutral consequence of nature.

    Nature’s laws are unfathomable to the unenlightened mind,
    so it’s regularities seem to be fate for most people.

    Whilst an intellectual understanding of Nature is equivalently futile
    to predicting the flight-path of a released rubber-ballon,
    I strongly believe that an unconditioned mind is capable of intuitively understanding the regularities of life.
    That is why I am not searching intellectually for the principles of life,
    but do this yoga-meditaton instead.

    Because I want to walk with you through the entire process chronologically,
    the difficulty for me will be will be to write down my experiences
    without adding relativizing & resolving insights I had decades later,
    so I warn you that there will be a few politically incorrect posts upcoming, designed to show you how frustrating experiences in ignorance can be.

    So even if you at times totally disagree with my first views or early conclusions, please bear with me, because this is not about singular issues
    but about the larger picture of the development of insights.

    This series also is designed to demonstrate the value of a daily meditation practice,
    by comparing decades of my own faults and pains to the much faster evolution, when daily tuning into one’s higher self.

    Once I collected the chronology of my epic downfall, I will tell you about …

    2. ) The deconstruction of an ego.

    All experiences leave residues of emotional reflections
    which in time turns into admittance of personal responsibility in form of regrets.

    To know this, btw, can help you tremendously when working on letting go of violations or victimisations, which had been committed against you.

    The effects of a conscience will serve each person their own punishment,
    and even if it seems that some are not receptive for it,
    it only means that their boomerang is delayed into the next of afterlife.

    This will be the chapter which will provide all answers to my frustrating experiences, so you can take this page as a disclaimer for all my biographical posts.

    Once this episode is completed I finally will move on to tell you about …

    3.) Mystical insights …

    … I am having as a very late reward of my long & tedious meditation-yog-practice described here.

    ~ ~ ~

    Finally

    The rise of social networks did create an atmosphere of most people putting on a mask to display themselves more beautiful and successful than others – under the pretence to spread positivity.

    Instead what they do is to make anyone who can’t live up to their distorted standards of their photo-edited pictures to feel like a looser.

    Therefore I want to fill the void of authenticity
    by bringing you an honest and complete picture with all its shadow-sides.

    I hope that this will bring a sense of identification and belonging
    to the many whose suffering currently disables them to express their pain.

     
  • sitting bull 1:31 on 2019-04-30 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: autobiography of a looser, , disappointments, ,   

    An autobiographical research into of the evolution of our soul 

    An attempt to figure out the way the mind evolves throughout our karmic biography

    versus the means of reflection, contemplation and meditation.

    Our entanglement in life is unfathomable, which leads us to the believe that there must be some higher force or reason behind all of it.
    Without wanting to dismiss anyones believe in higher powers, one thing for me is certain – I have the right to understand myself by myself,
    so instead of putting my head into the sand of ignorant fatalism, I want to start a very personal research into the twists of the human mind by using my life as an example.

    I don’t do this because I do consider my life as more important than anyone elses’, but for the simple reason that it is the only one I fully have access to – at least to the extend that I still remember all those events which were not suppressed into the realm of forgetfulness by my resisting ego.

    This timing is right, because I just started a 3 year long inner journey to literally re-search for my higher, true or divine soul by the means of Yoga-meditation which will bring a lot of autobiographical stuff up, before insights come.

    So I herewith will open myself up totally; by writing down all experiences which did have a lasting impact on me – regardless of their political correctness or how they make me look like.

    What is needed in this time of dishonest Kali-Yuga-masquerade for the sake of preserving an image to impress the shallow minded ones currently in power; is someone who reclaims honesty in the superficial social-network-farce by opening up in an honest way in order to break the story of the emperor’s new clothes. And since I have nothing to loose, I make the first step here; in the hope to inspire others to loose their fear of being authentic.

    Whilst most people like stories of inspirations in order to be uplifted, this series might put of those who merely look for the bright side of life without wanting to look at the entire picture.
    I observed this already, as some advocates of the (in itself still shallow) mere”wellness-and-health-food-spirituality“, or of the other extreme of a “mere faith in an authoritarian god figure who will rescue us all” stopped reading this blog or replying to mails.
    Those usually were people who were looking for inspriations (in from the outside) without wanting to include the saturnic (duty) aspects of (self claimed) “@spirations”.

    Those people will resort to autobiographies of people who made it to the top of our society.
    But this – in opposition to Yogananda’s “Autobiography of a Yogi” will be an “Autobiography of a looser” – a chronology of an epic downfall, but therefore the display of lessons of in non-attachment through literal dis-appointments -> unfulfilled appointments, my naive mind made in blind hope with reality.

    As a future disclaimer – I want to add that most of my life-deviations will turn out to have become valuable lessons
    – first on a lower consciousness in form of at times cynical consequences,
    – then as a “street-wisdom” or a “wisdom of age“, which as we know is less “wisdom” but often sadly only limited to distrustful strategic lessons,
    – and later guided by my meditative higher mind to some forms of more loving and compassionate world-views which allow for the existence of an Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations (which Gene Roddenberry’s Vulcans did cherish).

    So whenever you can’t relate to one point or another, I can assure you that most of what I am about to write will be explained later.
    The only reason why I won’t explain my misconceptions straight away is in order to let the reader walk with me through an experience – something which would not happen if you knew the outcome (for the same reasons no one likes movie-spoilers).

    Because memories will not all come up in chronological order, I will categorise my autobiography in the blog here under a “bio(graphy)” menu points, like:
    *bio
    +>my 20s (, 30s, 40s, etc..)
    +> my yin and yang sides
    +> different issues (such as #family, #men, #women, etc)
    +> lower and higher mind insights …
    so that you may pick out the parts which you can relate to.

     
    • JV Avadhanulu 5:14 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, dear Thilo, for your courage to share your life and your deepest leranings with us. I don’t agree that you are a loser and you may like to reconsider attaching that label to yourself.
      Wish you all the best

      Like

      • sitting bull 10:31 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you for your compassionate response, JV,
        with this upcoming series I just want to convey to people how despite best of wished ones life can go down the drain,
        and then how to pick it up afterwards again and about the difficulties on the path.

        Like

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