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  • sitting bull 20:04 on 2019-09-29 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , epic downfall,   

    Why I write down my biography for you 

    {ongoing story: Menu>bios}

    My life is not more or less important than anyone elses`,
    and not even an inspiration for seekers of success,
    but throughout half a decade, I have observed,
    that literally ALL of us get entangled in many pains and disappointments
    and either spiral down into bitterness,
    or manage to transform into a wiser person.

    I will use my own biography to follow the evolution of the human mind
    in this order:

    1 .) Karmic lessons and disappointments

    Those are the lessons learned by experiences.

    In my personal opinion (as a non-Indian Westerner)
    Karma seems to be the susceptibility for energetic constellations
    which do match our current level of im/balance.

    Since everything in nature is drawn to a state of balance,
    those experiences usually lead to “dis-appointments
    – a gradual annihilation of our internal appointments with reality,
    known as (mis)conceptions.

    Whilst Karma – especially for followers of Abrahamic religions –
    seems to be linked to a punishment of a higher authority;
    I see it as a merely a neutral consequence of nature.

    Nature’s laws are unfathomable to the unenlightened mind,
    so it’s regularities seem to be fate for most people.

    Whilst an intellectual understanding of Nature is equivalently futile
    to predicting the flight-path of a released rubber-ballon,
    I strongly believe that an unconditioned mind is capable of intuitively understanding the regularities of life.
    That is why I am not searching intellectually for the principles of life,
    but do this yoga-meditaton instead.

    Because I want to walk with you through the entire process chronologically,
    the difficulty for me will be will be to write down my experiences
    without adding relativizing & resolving insights I had decades later,
    so I warn you that there will be a few politically incorrect posts upcoming, designed to show you how frustrating experiences in ignorance can be.

    So even if you at times totally disagree with my first views or early conclusions, please bear with me, because this is not about singular issues
    but about the larger picture of the development of insights.

    This series also is designed to demonstrate the value of a daily meditation practice,
    by comparing decades of my own faults and pains to the much faster evolution, when daily tuning into one’s higher self.

    Once I collected the chronology of my epic downfall, I will tell you about …

    2. ) The deconstruction of an ego.

    All experiences leave residues of emotional reflections
    which in time turns into admittance of personal responsibility in form of regrets.

    To know this, btw, can help you tremendously when working on letting go of violations or victimisations, which had been committed against you.

    The effects of a conscience will serve each person their own punishment,
    and even if it seems that some are not receptive for it,
    it only means that their boomerang is delayed into the next of afterlife.

    This will be the chapter which will provide all answers to my frustrating experiences, so you can take this page as a disclaimer for all my biographical posts.

    Once this episode is completed I finally will move on to tell you about …

    3.) Mystical insights …

    … I am having as a very late reward of my long & tedious meditation-yog-practice described here.

    ~ ~ ~

    Finally

    The rise of social networks did create an atmosphere of most people putting on a mask to display themselves more beautiful and successful than others – under the pretence to spread positivity.

    Instead what they do is to make anyone who can’t live up to their distorted standards of their photo-edited pictures to feel like a looser.

    Therefore I want to fill the void of authenticity
    by bringing you an honest and complete picture with all its shadow-sides.

    I hope that this will bring a sense of identification and belonging
    to the many whose suffering currently disables them to express their pain.

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  • sitting bull 15:39 on 2019-06-12 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , ,   

    religion#4 : why religions can be spiritual hinderances 

    After having told you 3 emotional criticisms, and my cognitive reasons,
    today I will tell you my spiritual issues I have with religions.
    Whilst religions claim to offer spiritual guidance and they serve well to kickstart people into searching for a purpose or looking for their higher self, they in fact can lead to the opposite, by standing in the way of an individual’s own evolution:

    7.) The forbiddingness to evolve oneself (or one’s Self)

    In the spirit of agnosticism, meaning that I don’t know whether a god exists (and less so, whether this one would be a creator), I start to analyse religious premisses by giving them the benefit of the doubt:

    If some kind of god pervades everything in life, it also must be within each of my cells, so logically, we all should be able to elevate to divine heights.

    But orthodox mindsetters by any means try to dismiss ones own aspiration to grow towards their highest potential, because they want obedient sheep which follow their believe – something people who evolved into the divine would not do anymore.
    I often was told (by my Christian monk classmate, hardcore Bible-readers, but also some eso-gurus) that high aspirations would be merely egotistical and therefore I should practice to be humble first.

    An interesting aspect is that there is a really fine line between egotism and sincere aspirations.

    These days it seems spiritual to spread tranquility, but where for example does one draw the line between serenity and the ability to influence others with sweet words?

    On the other hand someone who longs for a higher reality, yet still is a nervous wreck, might not be non-spiritual, but actually a sincere seeker who is merely be suppressed by narrow-minded dogmas.

    So smoothness is not at all an indication for spirituality

    Here, for example is a tibetan monk telling that it would we imperative to control the natural forces of the five elements (merely in order to overcome physical obstacles when meditating). Conservative believers declare any aspiration for siddhis as an ego-driven need to be special and therewith nip any growing spiritual ambition in the bud. 

    After many years retreat I came to the conclusion, that a human beings physical constitution in particular was a big impediment for serious practitioners.
    I came to realise that the only way to remove these impediments was to retain mastery of the 5 elements, so that my practice did not have to be dependent on sustenance and health.

    […]
    I strongly aspired to master the
    6 yogas of Naropa.as well as the secret prana nadhi and bhindu
    At any cost I was determined to do train myself to master Tummo or Chandali.

    8.) rigid conservatism blocks the mind to open up to a more expanded wisdom.

    Another negative side-effect to religious bigotry is that it inhibits access to a more symbolic understanding on a higher level. To give you a Christian example:
    Look at the Genesis in the bible where god created the world in six days. Orthodox believers take each word of their religious book literal and therefore insist that the earth had to be created within a week – despite all scientific evidence to the contrary.

    The bible- , as well as the Torah version is:
    1. darkness & light, evening and the morning were the first day,
    2. heaven vs water were created on the second day
    3. dry land and plants on the third day,
    4. sun and stars on the fourth day,
    5. fish and water animals on the fifth day,
    6. land animals and humans on the sixth day,
    7. and finally a day off on the seventh day (which is the reason for us to have our weekends).

    The symbolism an open mind can see is:
    1. Light: Sun (it shines on the own self)
    2. Water: Moon (think of the lunar menstruation cycles and tides)
    3. dry land: (hot) Mars {energetic}
    4. heavenly firmament(higher mind): Mercury
    5. Water flows everywhere, like Spiritulity, which relates to Jupiter
    6. god said “be fruitful”(make love) : Venus
    7. day of rest: Saturn (the ruler of blockages and “the bill” for the past – hence better stay still for a while)

    Should you dismiss those planetary correlations, think about why Christians adopted the Jewish Weekdays which now are used around the world:
    The names say it all:
    Sunday, -> sunny boy
    Mo(o)nday, -> reflection
    (french) Mardi, -> warrior
    Mercredi, -> communication
    Jeudi, -> Spirituality
    Vendredi, -> love
    and Saturday. -> duty

    The better you understand those planetary or greek god aspects (which correlate with those planets), the more you can apply those cycles to your every day life.

    8.) The lack of 60-90% of Jesus’ life

    The biggest hole in the bible, however for me was and still is that Jesus mysteriously was just away” for 18-30 years.
    This smells like either a purpose censorship in order to preserve the story of Jesus as the sun of god;
    and/or a lack of knowledge and therewith understanding of the one person’s life around whom much of the Quoran and a third of the bible evolves.

    For me, however, it makes much more sense that he meanwhile was learning spiritual disciplines to become a gnostic, so to me personally Jesus was a highly evolved spiritual master, whose words carry profound meanings until this day.

    So I don’t take him as part of a personified creator god and it doesn’t make sense to me that he did absolve humankind of all sins, when I see most humans continuing to live wrongly.

    To me by conveying that he “is the way” means that he fully recognised his own divinity, offered himself merely as a spiritual guide – not to become a crutch for a huge institution to accumulate financial wealth and power – something he aggressively fought with the pharisees and temple merchants against.

    Actually, considering the law of attraction which states that one becomes what is in ones mind;
    this could even be the reason why Jesus now is abused to serve as a flagship of the largest sect of humankind: His axis of consciousness was to fight against such powers so ironically he posthumous was turned into one.

    Instead of Jesus being “the son of god”, the Church wants us to believe,
    to me personally he is “the sun of god” – the ray which connects to the divinity within each of us.

    Hence I am inspired by his gnostic path, which is the reason I was so attracted to Sodarshan Chakra Kriya later,
    because amongst undoubtedly many other methods, spiritual yoga
    {in opposition of the contemporary propagated mere physical one}
    is designed to elevate our human presence to its highest levels.

    article #5: the intellectual western approach to a personified god >

     
    • JV Avadhanulu 21:39 on 2019-06-12 Permalink | Reply

      Very erudite and well composed article that rings a bell within me. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

    • sitting bull 21:46 on 2019-06-12 Permalink | Reply

      I am so glad that you find the time to read articles again, JV !
      And I am very grateful for your continuing inspiration in times of me restructuring the direction where this blog is going – thank you – also for you teaching me to improve my english – I didn’t know the word erudite for example.

      Like

  • sitting bull 18:15 on 2019-05-26 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , war, war mongers   

    religion#2 three emotional issues with the three Abrahamic religions 

    Regardless of their belief I really do salute people of faith for trying to become the best they can be, especially the many believers who sincerely are out to live the peace and love their books tells them to be.

    Whenever I was traveling in countries whose customs I was not aquanited with, I usually did trust religious people most, because they had ethics, which non-caring atheists simply dismissed.
    So in times of an immature society I do see religions as valuable moral guide rails (as long as it doesn’t backfire into fanatism).

    I also have friends from all kinds of religions and do salute their sincerity – especially when compared with the oblivious majority who merely subscribes to a blind materialism, just to live out their unquenchable egotistical hunger for convenience and pleasure.

    This is why I wondered why in my lifelong sincere search for the divine and many lengthy discussions I developed a love-hate relationship with orthodox religions of all kinds:

    1.) “The fear of god”

    What actually did and subconsciously still does create a great discomfort for me is the religious dogma that god only loves you, once you believe in “him“.
    (The narrow sexual term “him” makes it even worse, because it triggers the negative archetype of a punishing father).

    To me it seems childish, to say “either you are with me, or against me”. Do you really think an almighty god had such huge ego that she cares about what us human microbes think of it ?

    I think the reason why believers do like a regulating authority, is because it doesn’t require a great effort on behalf of the worshipper – all one has to do is to follow a handful of limiting dietary and ethical regulations, put all ones issues into the hands of a “big daddy”, and bliss will be guaranteed.
    The drawback of such an attitude, however is that this locks the believer in a state of infantility which then inhibits a more abstract inner evolution, leading to a blindspot for possibilities to evolve oneself or to evolve one’s self (a concept unknown and even unliked by orthodox believers).

    To be fair – this is not only a problem of religions, but a part of the immaturity of mankind, as you can see on the current global school system, which is not designed to educate ones persona, but to turn us into obedient working machines.
    Nowadays ironically, this consciousness of submissiveness is exploited by unspiritual materialists who believe in the mammon instead of the divine.

    The dogma of fear has nothing to do with love, but imposes a sword of Damocles upon anyone who keeps the mind open for all kinds of reality.

    2. The condescending claim to absoluteness

    Mere faith without spiritual experiences lives on the strength of a community, which is why believers are on a constant mission to increase their circle of like-minded ones, whilst people who “know themselves” as the ancient Greeks propagated, don’t need their false ego’s approval of anyone else.

    To strengthen their comunity the dogma to missionize others turned into a justification for blinker-minded believers in wasting most of their life by standing on corners or trying to convince people – most of whom don’t even want to hear about their own frame of mind.

    Orthodox followers regardless of their religion all in my eyes are equally bad. Fanatics constantly and blindly hammer into everyones brain that whoever they were raised to believe in is the only way”, which is exactly the kind of attitude, which did create the atrocities you can see in the middle east.

    The arrogant attitude of “owning the only truth” (as Christians and Muslims do) or “belonging to the chosen people” (something btw not only Jews, but also Koreans do believe in) is the source of all wars due to a distorted concept of being better than others. This comes from, and dogmatically leads to:

    3.) religious wars and acts of terror

    Whenever people aren’t allowed to evolve upwards, the result usually is that their world becomes so narrow that it starts to attack sidewards:

    Just look at history and you will see that all religions got their hands dirty by slaughtering people from other religions. Up to this date it still is done, only in the disguise of a “war against terror “war for democracy”, whilst on the other hand entire religions are stigmatised to have a justification to invade those countries for oil or other capitalistic endeavours.
    Minorities who don’t have the means of todays expensive warfare, usually resort to terrorism.
    I herewith condemn politicians who are war-mungers as well as terrorists with all my heart alike:

    I have never seen a more blatant hypocrisy and stupidity than aggressive fanatics who claim to follow their book of love and compassion only to then kill or do harm to others!

    Whilst I can understand any politician who was voted into a position of power to have to move out of running wars slowly, this also goes for politicians who did start new wars they claim that they “had to” -> the blood of each death, whether civilian, collateral or soldiers are on your hands! The Nobel-price has been dished out to a bunch of politicians who were leading wars – therefore I don’t take its value seriously anymore.

    Unfortunatly the mass of simple-minded people usually all to quickly resort in a condemnation of the large majority of peaceful members of other religions they were brainwashed to hate by the media (who thrives on creating fearful news).
    This also is a strategic foolishness, because a deep rooted belief will only change through the heart, never by physical or dogmatic force.
    Nationalism as well as religious fanaticism both bear creepy similarities – just listen to the phrases of politicians and religious leaders dished out – they pretty much are the same.


    After a short speech from George Carlin, a really interesting summary of the history of religion including how the church did twist it, can be seen here:

    article #3 : 3 intellectual issues with religion >

     
  • sitting bull 21:16 on 2019-05-18 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Catholicism, , Church, , monotheism, nazi, Protestantism,   

    religion #1: The religious influence of my parents 

    In opposition to my father who came from the poorest class, my mother came from a successful business family with an educated upbringing in manners – something I fortunately do participate from until now, whenever I meet people of higher classes or standards.

    Just to show you how much did change within the last century: Even though both sides were very religious, my grandfather was originally protestant but had to convert to my grandmother’s religion, because two generations ago it was still unthinkable for protestants to marry catholics and vice versa. You probably wouldn’t believe it, but even to marry outside ones village was unorthodox for some (which was probably the cause for the incestual byproduct of a “village-idiot” to have been seen in each village).

    This by the way is the reason why I do believe mixed races to be a blessing of a fresh genetic pool to monocultural races. Fortunately for me, my ancestors mixed – if not in races than at least in cultures:

    My poor grandparents of my father’s side, in ignorance of the Nazi’s committed atrocities, bought into their simplistic slogans (as simple minded people do), whilst my mother’s wealthy parents hated Hitler, because he did split up the good connection they had to the french border region of Alsace, where their main office was located.

    To protect themselves from Nazi-informers they had their obligatory picture of Hitler hanging on the wall, but as soon as visitors left, did turn it around to the side which did show a religious picture of Mary who is revered by Catholics.

    So by having been baptised as a baby I was made a member of the Catholic church without even having chosen it myself. This was my first issue with Christianity, even though I only discovered it when I was 18 and had to pay my first taxes in Berlin.

    Maybe living away from home helped, but I then decided not to pay a membership-fee for a club I never actually chose to be in. So I did leave the Church.

    One of the reasons Christianity was more a burden than a bliss to me, was the dogma that
    in order to be loved by a father-like authority-figure I first would have to believe in “him” –
    a concept which to me does not seem to be unconditional love at all, but an extortion by the means of fear.

    This dogma by monotheists was actually hammered so deep into my brain that up to this day this damocles-sword still lingers subconsciously over my head when dismissing any kind of superior creator god.

    Much later I did discover the value of first believing in the concept of a leap of faith which can be a basis for miraculous transformations; but it took me many decades to detach it from the concept of a punishing god.

    So my current position is that I am a strong believer of fearlessly following ones own deeper beliefs;
    yet instead of hoping for some daddy to “come to the rescue”,
    to evolve oneself to a state in which mind controls matter.

    article #2: my 3 emotional issues with religion >

     
  • sitting bull 12:28 on 2019-05-09 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: ancestors, choleric, , family and relatives, father, grandparents, mars, parents, resolution, sanquine   

    my first resolution and dilemma about my manhood 

    Like anybody, I also am a conglomerate of the different energies I did inherit from my ancestors.

    I was told that my great grandfather used to be a kind of jack of all trades who (way ahead of his times) 100 years ago drew up two organic foods for goats, made ballet shoes for the theatre Freiburg, and also had a shoe shop at the most beautiful part of town which in war (due to lack of water) he had to watch to burn down without being able to extinguish it.

    There must be some truth to the astrological saying that if someone’s ascendent (the direction one walks to) is a gemini (a person who has many interests), the then one of their parents also seem to be a gemini: My grandfather, father (who was a gemini) and myself also were were similar versatile, and my ascendent is also gemini.

    Even though he was totally poor, my grandfather was very intelligent, sensitive, and had many talents – in the second world war he had to get food for the army (he claimed to have done that to avoid to have to shoot humans), he was a great cook (it took him an entire day to cook his legendary Christmas duck), was very musical, taught himself to play a little bit piano, was very versatile in many crafts, could play chess very well (always was beating my father, who always was winning against me in chess), and was reading books from different cultures, few of his time did read – from the secret power of the Jesuits up to the Bhagavad Gita.

    ~~~

    I think in evolution there is a dynamic that energies swing from one side to another, because my grandfather, in opposition to my grandmother, was the sensitive one, my father then the fighter, and me again extremely emotional.

    My grandmother was a very simple woman – whilst my grandfather was a bear, she was tiny, thin, always frantically running around, but despite her frail appearance had a choleric trade, who hit my sister and me on occasion with our trouser suspenders. Because I had no understanding of anger as a child, when they were arguing, it often looked really funny to me, because my “Opa” reminded me of Obelix, and my “Oma” of Asterix.

    In reconstruction one can’t blame her, who was of the lowest class – a farm laborer, for her character trade, because she was raised by a classic “evil stepmother” who supposedly did purposely put hair in her soup.
    Somehow she even had very simple and naive rules which somehow are wisdoms I still do remember, such as “you can’t serve two lords”, meaning in her mind that one can’t serve the devil and god, and even though I don’t believe in Satan, I think in spiritual terms she did have a point, when juxtaposing low consciousness greed against a higher mind of serenity.

    As it is the case with unresolved issues, they are past on to the children, so she at times left her baby – my father who was raised as a single child – sitting at the toilet for up to four hours, so you can imagine him having had his issues also.

    ~ ~ ~

    In post WW2 Germany, everything was bombed, so my father, who was just 3 years old when the war started, was used to have to work really hard for everything in his life: He had to help to help everywhere, due to war-issues had to change schools 15 times (which did turn the small but strong guy into a lone fighter), studied very hard to become a sports- German- and history-teacher, later created a totally new kind of job which combined school with theatre, and had a passionate side which did inspire and amuse many.

    But he also inherited the choleric trade from my grandmother, which despite him having been a warm-hearted dad who was really good in teaching us kids things, at times turned him into a moody tyrant at home, so that our mother, after he came out of his daily naps, often warned us to hide somewhere in order to avoid slaps in the face.

    But even on his moody days, in society he played always the great and funny guy, so as soon as visitors came, he was the most hospital guy ever – only to instantly treat us harsh again, as soon as they left.
    This is why I got a sixth sense for the dominance of many revered stars and even spiritual teachers and see right through their veil of image cultivation (as you could see in my critical articles about Yogi Bhajan – the only person btw, I criticise by name, because he is dead, and I am not out to hurt living ones).

    I then made my first unspoken life-resolution:
    Never become as dominant as my father
    and give as much space to others as possible.

    This, however turned out to become a difficult endeavour, because (besides his emotive affection for dogs) I also did inherit his strong marsian fire of on one hand being able to make people laugh a lot and on the other hand having a potential for being really furious.

    So I was set up for the first dilemma of my life –
    wanting to suppress an inherited energy, which is a literally inherent part of me.
    On one hand, if I dismiss my propensity for aggression, I might become a tyrant,
    but on the other hand, if I succeed, I end up literally emasculated.

    To avoid this catch-22 situation, in school I usually turned into the class clown in order to compensate my frustration with the education system in humorous sarcasm without getting into fights.

    So whenever you see people who fail to fulfil societies requirements of contributing to the national gross income, are homeless, or make a fool out of themselves, remember that such childhood-imprints could be one of the reasons for it.

     
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