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  • sitting bull 1:31 on 2019-04-30 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: autobiography of a looser, chronology of an epic downfall, disappointments, ,   

    An autobiographical research into of the evolution of our soul 

    An attempt to figure out the way the mind evolves throughout our karmic biography

    versus the means of reflection, contemplation and meditation.

    Our entanglement in life is unfathomable, which leads us to the believe that there must be some higher force or reason behind all of it.
    Without wanting to dismiss anyones believe in higher powers, one thing for me is certain – I have the right to understand myself by myself,
    so instead of putting my head into the sand of ignorant fatalism, I want to start a very personal research into the twists of the human mind by using my life as an example.

    I don’t do this because I do consider my life as more important than anyone elses’, but for the simple reason that it is the only one I fully have access to – at least to the extend that I still remember all those events which were not suppressed into the realm of forgetfulness by my resisting ego.

    This timing is right, because I just started a 3 year long inner journey to literally re-search for my higher, true or divine soul by the means of Yoga-meditation which will bring a lot of autobiographical stuff up, before insights come.

    So I herewith will open myself up totally; by writing down all experiences which did have a lasting impact on me – regardless of their political correctness or how they make me look like.

    What is needed in this time of dishonest Kali-Yuga-masquerade for the sake of preserving an image to impress the shallow minded ones currently in power; is someone who reclaims honesty in the superficial social-network-farce by opening up in an honest way in order to break the story of the emperor’s new clothes. And since I have nothing to loose, I make the first step here; in the hope to inspire others to loose their fear of being authentic.

    Whilst most people like stories of inspirations in order to be uplifted, this series might put of those who merely look for the bright side of life without wanting to look at the entire picture.
    I observed this already, as some advocates of the (in itself still shallow) mere”wellness-and-health-food-spirituality“, or of the other extreme of a “mere faith in an authoritarian god figure who will rescue us all” stopped reading this blog or replying to mails.
    Those usually were people who were looking for inspriations (in from the outside) without wanting to include the saturnic (duty) aspects of (self claimed) “@spirations”.

    Those people will resort to autobiographies of people who made it to the top of our society.
    But this – in opposition to Yogananda’s “Autobiography of a Yogi” will be an “Autobiography of a looser” – a chronology of an epic downfall, but therefore the display of lessons of in non-attachment through literal dis-appointments -> unfulfilled appointments, my naive mind made in blind hope with reality.

    As a future disclaimer – I want to add that most of my life-deviations will turn out to have become valuable lessons
    – first on a lower consciousness in form of at times cynical consequences,
    – then as a “street-wisdom” or a “wisdom of age“, which as we know is less “wisdom” but often sadly only limited to distrustful strategic lessons,
    – and later guided by my meditative higher mind to some forms of more loving and compassionate world-views which allow for the existence of an Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations (which Gene Roddenberry’s Vulcans did cherish).

    So whenever you can’t relate to one point or another, I can assure you that most of what I am about to write will be explained later.
    The only reason why I won’t explain my misconceptions straight away is in order to let the reader walk with me through an experience – something which would not happen if you knew the outcome (for the same reasons no one likes movie-spoilers).

    Because memories will not all come up in chronological order, I will categorise my autobiography in the blog here under a “bio(graphy)” menu points, like:
    *bio
    +>my 20s (, 30s, 40s, etc..)
    +> my yin and yang sides
    +> different issues (such as #family, #men, #women, etc)
    +> lower and higher mind insights …
    so that you may pick out the parts which you can relate to.

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    • JV Avadhanulu 5:14 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

      Thank you, dear Thilo, for your courage to share your life and your deepest leranings with us. I don’t agree that you are a loser and you may like to reconsider attaching that label to yourself.
      Wish you all the best

      Like

      • sitting bull 10:31 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you for your compassionate response, JV,
        with this upcoming series I just want to convey to people how despite best of wished ones life can go down the drain,
        and then how to pick it up afterwards again and about the difficulties on the path.

        Like

  • sitting bull 23:31 on 2019-04-28 Permalink | Reply  

    1000 days of 2.5 hours of Sodarshan Chakra Kriya 

    For literally 25 years I did build up the Sodarshan Chakra Kriya, because Yogi Bhajan promised:

    1. it to be the highest Kriya (exercise) of all types of Yoga;
    2. it would give one a new start;
    3. it would cut through all darkness and barriers of the neurotic or psychotic nature, by giving one the vitality and intuition to combat negative effects of the subconscious mind;
    4. it would work when no exterior techniques from the outside work;
    5. and it would work at any time and in any space.

    Since there are spiritual cycles I took a months break from meditating and waited for my next birthday which is always a good starting point,
    so because today is my birthday I did start this final phase in which I want to put his promises to a test.

    Whilst I don’t expect specific results, I do hope for the claim that a thousand days of daily practice supposedly will implement the meditation vibration into ones character so that it continues to work on ones personality for the rest of ones life.

    I have to admit that I am very scared of failing, because 2.5 hours are likely to be skipped – if not done first thing in the morning.
    This means that I not only have put my worldly activities into the background and don’t allow for any interference in the first hours of the day, but obviously have to skip spontaneous late nights – especially in combination with inebriations.

    So yesterday evening I went to bed early and in panic not to miss the early hours (in which it is literally 10 times easier to meditate), I woke up 1.5 hours later, but knowing that I would not be able to fall asleep soon, I rose to the occasion and sat for 2.5 hours in the dark – from half past one to 4am (after which I did allow myself to sleep again – without this luxuary I know that I would not have the motivation to get up so early).

    What really was beautiful was that in opposition to normal meditations when insights usually come in the relaxation phase after the meditation, I got my first insight after only a few minutes into doing it, because it involved the practice:

    Throughout the entire 25 years I didn’t realise that I was mentally chanting “Wahe Guru” in the proposed 3 beats:”Wa”,”He”,and “Guru”, but maybe because in my mind “Guru” has two syllables I always gave the mantra one beat more, to allow for all 4 syllables – I did the “Wa-He-Guru” in 3 syllables but it was more like a 4/4 beat with the fourth beat played by another drum.
    You can check out what I mean on the SCK-beats I made nearly two decades ago:
    https://thilo.bandcamp.com/album/sodarshan-chakra-kriya

    I then realised however, that this has an entire different dynamic to a walz-like 3/4 beat which is much more forward-driven.

    So all I can recommend to practitioners of SCK is a new found rule of thumb:
    – if you want SCK to become more contemplative, you can add the fourth pause-beat in your head,
    – and if you need for some more power and action in your life, go for the walz-like non-stop “WaheguruWaheguruWaheguru” without any mental pauses.

    It is amazing how there is always still room for more observations – even within such a simple and limited issue such as a 3-syllable mantra.
    Maybe this is the key to amazing wisdom:
    Once we ridden ourselves of our intellectual and emotional conditionings we free our souls to see these tiny details, most of us overlook.

    Free yourself from your Hamster-wheels !

     
    • JV Avadhanulu 3:44 on 2019-04-29 Permalink | Reply

      Dear Thilo, Wish you ahppy birthday and tarnsformational journey of 1000 days with inner Peace and Joy.

      Like

      • sitting bull 11:49 on 2019-04-29 Permalink | Reply

        Thank you, dear JV – those are the comments which give me strength on my else solitaire path.

        Like

    • David N Cook 2:03 on 2019-04-30 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks Thilo – good luck in your quest for 1000 days! I am still doing SCK for 5 reps in the morning after tuning in; then I turn to my knee exercises (prescribed by physical therapists and working, so I continue). Then I begin the Five Tibetans, and I have reached 21reps for them all. It is quite a workout, especially the 2nd one, the leg-lift. I am noticing some physical strengthening and potentially firming my will to stay focused during strenuous activity. Real changes come after 30-40days, at least that was my experience with SCK. I just did not want to completely give up my SCK practice – I felt it become part of who I am after one year. Earlier this month we attended Sat Nam Fest, a gathering of Kundalini people in Malibu Canyon, very near us. Interesting to see people from all over the world as well as from the large LA community. That’s me in the middle, in the great shirt; Saturday morning practice on the beach. Best wishes from Oxnard Shores, CA!

      Like

      • sitting bull 0:28 on 2019-05-01 Permalink | Reply

        Than you, David for your nice message, you are one of my most faithful readers!
        It looks as if this was a mail, because you tell your private life-stories so openly and also refer to a photo which can not be seen in comments.
        However, first of all I do wish you the very best with your knee-recovery. This really can impair the practice of sitting for a long time as I experienced myself, so I guess it is good that you do more moving exercises like the 5 Tibetans right now.

        Talking the Tibetans: From the time I first read the book about them I did suspect somehow that those were more of an invention of Peter Kelder, but then again, if we look closely – nearly all of those fascinating exercises always seem to go through a “bottleneck” of one person only claiming to have received a secret wisdom:
        Yogananda’s teacher Lahiri Mahasaya claims that he met the ageless Mahavatar Babaji who taught him Kriya Yoga, and also for Sodarshan Chakra Kriya there is no other source to be found than that from Yogi Bhajan. So in the end I assume strongly that it is not so much about the actual exercise, but about our total dedication to it.

        So I think you are on a great path if you have the stamina to stick to those two spiritual and physical disciplines – I just wanted to throw this in there so that we see things for what they are without getting disillusioned ones our chosen discipline turns out to be a subjective invention.
        This is why I once did write my hypercritical series on Yogi Bhajan, to let people know that even the best chefs only cook with water.

        Moral of the story: Just as beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, the power of any kriya seems to lie in the application of the practitioner(s).

        Like

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